It’s been a while. A very long while.I dont find the need to come here like I used to. I needed somewhere to rearrange my thoughts, some imaginary people to run my stories by and somewhere to express myself without feeling alienated and stifled by my room. I have someone who I constantly run everything by and analyse everything with and who hears all my stories now, but I thought I would come back for old times’ sake. I have big plans that amount to nothing, small plans that blow into something, ideas, dreams… life can be a wonderful thing when you feel enabled. I’m more apathetic now than I’ve ever been towards how things are run and what’s going on in the upper echelons of the world but I learn a little more each day and that’s something. I dont really get any alone time now but I was never really good on my own, so I’m certainly not gonna start complaining about that. Anyway. I want to move to Canada. I want to whittle, carve and craft wood, and become a round timber frame builder and permaculturalist. I also want to wrestle a silverback and headbutt a grizzly.


You know when you play GrandTheftAuto and its variants, and it’s all you can do not to cheat. It’s because cheating is easy and the rewards are instant. Instant gratification. No need for time, effort, input, investment, patience - all avoided by cheating. Where does it get you? You lose all interest in the game quickly; any missions completed leave no satisfaction; anything you unlock you have gained unfairly and so it is ruined.

I feel like life is similar. We have limitations; laws; rules. They keep us in line. They define what we can and cant do. They are morality and justice, as determined by those in control. There are even similar religious codes: infidelity; stealing; murder. They govern us. But maybe that isnt all they do. Maybe they unlock a potential in us. Maybe we’ve done a million things more than we could if murder, rape and plunder were all a given.
As a problem solving race, we are given things we cannot do. To get our way, we must go around them or do something else, even find new answers. With laws, formalities, religious beliefs, we are given boundaries. We are told “do not do this”. As humans, we have the ability to do what we please. We can literally do whatever is possible, bound by intellectual and physical limitations… but it is easy to cheat. It is easy to do what is not allowed, to gain instant gratification in an immoral way.

My point is that a sense of achievement cannot be fully grasped by he who has cheated. I believe it is our limitations that make us blossom. Without law and rules, in a way, we become confined by unlimited possibility - where is the measuring stick by which anyone can succeed when there is no measure? If the law is “anything goes”, how can anyone truly be judged or measured?

One could argue that judgement is bad and everyone should be free to be who they want, but I dont. Without judgement, without measurement, how can we see what is good or bad, what works, what excels. The playing field has been really quite levelled and although not completely fair (gender, race, relations etc.) there is a system in which the majority have an equal opportunity to enjoy life and make choices to live as good people. That’s quite an accomplishment for a species, I think.

Crux: Dont cheat. Be patient. Invest time, effort and hard work, and enjoy the fruits of your labour afterwards. Life can be very rewarding.

(via sitandswivel)




I’m writing this because girlfriends can worry about things. I traditionally put everything I love about my girlfriend on tumblr - my advice would be to skip over this if you’re not her and dont want to feel significantly nauseated after reading.

I am here to ask some things. How could I fall out of love with you? How could I not find you beautiful? How could I get bored of you? but you dont get to answer them because you dont know; you can only guess and you’ll guess with that negative part of your brain that we’re cursed with… so I will tell you the answers too.

I could not fall out of love with you because you are everything to me. You’re the person I share everything with. You have replaced my conscience. You’re the person I look after and who looks after me. We’re the definition of synergy. I was a very different person before I had you - you have changed me for the better, allowed me to bloom under your nurture and I never want to be without you. I dont see you as facial features or a hair style, as slim or chubby, as anyone else in the world might see you, because I know you.

I know you so well that when I look at you, I cant help but see all the beautiful things that make you who you are.

You’re thoughtful, caring and sweet. You’re naive and silly but at the same time worldly and wise. You make clumsy look graceful. Every memory I have of you is strongly intertwined with happiness. I couldnt think of a single way that you could be any more loveable or  perfect for me. You dont need to change. You dont need to worry. I love you.


Life is really just the transfer of energy from one thing to another.

dis cat

das nice

das nice

(via sitandswivel)

what is a friend?
its a single soul dwelling in two bodies
Aristotle  (via beautiful-quotes)